Monday, October 22, 2012

NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER, WHOEVER HE MAY BE!!!!!- By 'Some Geezer from Gloucester'

Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,

 Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
 Randier than a sailor who's been six months at sea,
 Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee.


 First let's take the paceman, pure speed from first to last!
 My darlings do be careful; his balls are hard and fast.

 Then there's the medium pacer, his balls swing either way;
 He's really most persistent and can keep it up all day!

 And watch for the off-spinner, girls, another awkward chap.
 If you leave him half an opening, he will slip one through the gap!

 Then there's the wily 'slowy', pure cunning is his strength;
 He'll tempt you, then he'll trap you with his very subtle length.

 So ladies, do be careful, your mothers would agree.
 Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.

 And what about the opening bat, his struggles never cease!
 He has only one ambition, to spend all day at the crease.

 The number three is a dasher, he seldom prods and pokes.
 When he goes into action, he has a fine array of strokes..

 And do beware the slogger, not content with one or two;
 When he arrives at the crease then only six will do.

 Then there's the real stonewaller, girls, he knows what he's about;
 And if you let him settle in, it's hard to get him out!

 We come now to the last man, I hope this will not shock,
 He doesn't mind if he's last man in, as long as he gets a knock.

 So, darlings, do be careful, and be well warned by me:
 Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.

 And watch the wicketkeeper, girls, he's full of flair and dash;
 And if you raise your heel, he'll whip them off in a flash.

 If you take the field with the captain, you had better know the score;
 Or he'll have you in positions that you never knew before!

 The cricket commentator is a nasty sort of bloke,
 He watches all the action and describes it stroke by stroke.

 Even the kindly umpire, who looks friendly as a pup;
 You'll quickly find you've had it, when he puts his finger up!
 So, darlings, please remember and repeat it after me:

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