Wednesday, August 1, 2012

My Modern Day Worst Test 11

We as fans always marvel at the best of the best with us worshipping individuals and trying to make up dream 11's that no one could beat in a million years. I thought I would delve into the other side of the coin and try to come up with the worst 11 from the Modern era that would stink out any Cricket match


Imran Farhat ( Pakistan )

Hands up for any people in Pakistan who like this opener??????????

He had more chances than a cat in the Team, and for the occasional promise he showed he made up for it with sincere frustration

Made worse in the fans eyes for he mainly got into the Team because of his connections

Completing his place in this Team was the almost guarantee that in the field he would drop catch after catch 



Adrian Barath ( West Indies )

'One Swallow does not make a Summer........'

But it seems one innings has made Adrian Barath's career with his 104 against Australia in 2009. An innings that has been blown out of all proportion with him being ordained as a future great since it.

The truth of the matter was it was a cheap century scored against a B Grade attack, and he showed this by scoring 35 in his other 3 innings in the series against the real Aussie attack.

Plus 553 runs at an average of just over 20 runs an innings for the rest of his career

Technically deficient and has zero Temperament

Aside from that he is wonderful
 

Mohammad Ashraful ( Bangladesh )


I have made a conscious decision in this article not to victimise the Bangladesh Team for they are only mere babes in the Test arena

But this player well and truly gives me the squirts

By the fact that he has real talent, but zero application and even less care

He is reckless when he bats with the brainless shots he plays and his attitude is just on the nose in the extreme

Always seeing himself above all others and guaranteed of a place always in the Team



Ravi Bopara ( England )


I think Bopara Submarine telescope shot to get out in the recent Test against South Africa perfectly showed his 'calibre'

He made his reputation on smashing a very toothless West Indies Team around for some cheapie centuries.

Since then he has been like a wax man under the harshest sun...

But rather than recognise this, and let him melt away to oblivion

The English Selectors keep showing faith in him.......



Jessie Ryder ( New Zealand )

I used to love going to watch Sport in England when I lived there and enjoy the songs from the Crowds

One that was perfect for this portly Kiwi batsman was 'You have eaten all the pies and pastries and drunk all the ales..........'

Just completely irresponsible in his conduct off the field and on it

You see him being outed by the New Zealand board for his indiscipline with his weight and love of a drink.

Then when he does play, he conspires to ruin himself with some of the softest get out shots you will ever see


Steve Smith ( Australia )

I never thought that you could get a cherished Baggy Green by looking like someone, but that is the only reasoning we have for Smith's selection with him being the spitting image of Shane Warne. 



It went further than just looks with him 'bowling' leg spin like Warne and with a similar action. Take note to the inverted commas for he might have looked like Warne, but was a million light years away from him in skill or threat or to be truthful any resemblance in cricketing skill.

He is the 'all rounder' in this Team, and to perfectly describe his ability of undertaking that task we must return back to Warne and steal a famous quote of his for Smith

' He cant bowl....He cant bat....and he cant field......'



Kamran Akmal ( Pakistan ) ( wk )

Uggh I really cannot stand this player......

For he has real talent, but seems to be driven by his love of drama and controversy

We saw that in Sydney in 2010 where Pakistan lost the unloseable Test due mainly to Kamran and his foibles behind the stumps. Dropping dolly catches and missing stumpings that a blind, deaf and dumb man could complete.

In the wake of this, he tried to corrupt he brother by stepping out of the next Test, and when all the sad controversy engulfed the Team in England later in the year it stood out how he was spared of any indictment

You just always think he is on the 'take' for you will see his craven incompetence like that Sydney Test and then magically he will morph into flawless



Sreesanth ( India )

LOL

What can we say about Sreesanth???????

He is not much of a dancer

Then as Harbhajan showed, he is not much of a fighter

And sadly for India he is not much of a bowler

Falls into the mental pygmy bracket with him resembling a two year old having a hissy fit most of the time



Paul Harris ( South Africa )

Terrible spinner, if in fact you could define him as that for he rarely turned the ball



Just bowling inane defensive lines and relying on his negative tactics to bore batsmen out

Dilhara Fernando ( Sri Lanka )


My GAWD this guy is frustrating, and every time I see him play I just want to reach through the TV and strangle sense into him



For he is built like Tarzan, but bowls like Jane

He has every thing to be a very capable and respected Test bowler, but always frustrates. Whether it be through him being not switched on and bowling pies to the batsmen or being near his optimum , but then bowling no ball after no ball after no ball

Just such a WASTE!



Fidel Edwards ( West Indies )

Fast as lightning with the ability to swing it, but as dumb as a sack full of rocks

Plus if you had a game show where you said to young Fidel that he would win a million dollars id he could hit the same mark on the pitch by bowling 10 balls

He would not succeed with his radar being akin to a drunken man attempting a sobriety Test



Chief of Selectors- Ijaz Butt


Do we have to give any background to explain why Ijaz is perfect to run this side?


4 comments:

  1. i would like to see r vinay kumar in there

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  2. How come you did not include Suresh Raina in this ? This proves it. Your articles are fucking biased. You always seem to favor the Indians. Steve Smith is talented and he will prove himself in the future. And Fidel Edwards made the Indians piss their pants on the field when they toured West Indies about an year ago. And Sreesanth is a good bowler,but he is just inconsistent. On his day he can cause havoc to any batting line up,like he has proved before against SA and ENG. Jesse Ryder is lazy but he has a lazy brilliance in him. If he concentrates,he is a batsmen which any opposition would fear. Again,he scored centuries and double centuries against the "AWESOME" Indian bowling attack.And i'm surprised by the number of people who are brainwashed by your stupid biased articles,just full of bias.

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